An Artist's Wife

My first Art Show ...

2011-10-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

This past week I shared some of my paintings with my co-workers - it was both scary and very exciting.

The Crops are in ...

2011-09-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about owning a little country home in the country is September means harvest time.

We are far from a true "harvest" but we grow lots enough for the two of us.

Last weekend we were able to supplement with the few items in our tiny bar fridge (yes, that is right still no fridge) enough vegetables from our garden to make it four days and not having to go into town to get groceries.

Terri loves a dish I made him - he lovinging refers to as spicy potatos - there is something special about eating his own potatos, with some of the hot chili peppers and onion.

Note to self - pick zucchini when small :).

And the walls came down ...

2011-09-02T09:04:00.000-07:00

We have been renovating for a while now ... Ok truth be told we have been renovating since we bought the house. But we have reached a new level it seems lately, when we first started renovations we barely knew what we were doing, now I think I could hire Terri out as a general contractor.

This past weekend, we reached a new level - we installed an eight foot wide header between the two main rooms. And even took the bold step of removing our propane wall heater, we hated the beast. It was so noisy that when it came on (and it seemed to come on every other minute) you could not hear yourself think.

This now forces our hand to get the wood burning stove we have always wanted.

There is something that excites us both about the idea of living as much off our own property and as simply as possible, and one thing we have a lot of is dead trees.

This weekend - we take on electricity - wish us luck.

Ewwww that smell

2011-08-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was very much looking forward to last weekend, some alone time with Terri. It had been a while and I knew we would be apart for a week and a half so I was looking forward to relaxing.

When we arrived our wonderful elderly neighbour (who spoils him rotten by the way) had her daughter and son in law over and they were cutting down trees, great, chain saws, Ugh.

After the three hour drive to our country home, we come home to this noise, then we open the door and noticed it smelled bad, I mean really bad.

Terri says I guess we forget to throw out the garbage. But we check and it was not the garbage ... we kept smelling it. Then after using our noses and sniffing around it brought us to the fridge area.

We open the freezer, and the smell instantly brought on the gag reflex, if you have ever smelled rotten meat you know what I am talking about. It is a smell you never forget once you have it in your memory.

There was rotten meat juice now running out all over the front of the fridge, at first we could not figure out what we were looking at, fridges do not just die!

I tried to help, but I just could not deal with it, it was literally making me sick. He is such a trooper, this is where as partners one comes forward and takes care of the situation.

I went over to the neighbours home to see if there was a black out while we were gone, no it was perfect weather. I can smell the rotten meat over there, I am hundreds of feet away from our home.

You know what else can smell the smell of decay, flies! God damm I have come to hate flies since moving to the country, cluster flies, deer flies, black flies, deer flies, common house flies .. nasty dirty things. By the time I get back to our place Terri has the fridge on the front lawn and is using the hose to wash it down. And there are hundreds of flies in the house.

We now have bags of rotten meat, my beautiful lamb chops, steaks and salmon I was so looking forward to cooking for us. Hundreds of dollars worth of meat and supplies - gone.

The neighbours son in law comes over and says ... what are you doing with the rotten meat? Ummmm we are not sure (garbage is picked up every two weeks) he then asks for it. You want the rotten meat, yes he says. I will use it to bait the coyotes, well being a hard core City girl I have mixed feelings about giving him something he will use in order to kill the coyotes, but hell he was going to take the meat away. Ok here you go country boy its all yours!

Now we have the meat gone but inside the fridge we have bottles of condiments: ketchup, mustards, juice, butter etc. what are we going to do with these things?

We decide to dump them, so Terri washes out each of the jars while I use the shop vac to suck up flies that are all inside the house. Light candles, and incense anything to try and mask the smell.

After hours of work we finally go to bed exhausted, early the next morning I let the dogs out and within seconds smell yet another putrid smell - Skunk!

Seems skunks like ketchup, mustards, and pickles. The dogs would not stay away from where we buried the condiments and had now been sprayed.

We have been home less than 24 hours and I have never been more tired in my entire life. It was 5:30 in the morning and I had two stinky dogs, in a stinky house.

Did I also mention we did not have a fridge at this point so I did not even have milk for a coffee. I was at my wits end. I did not know what to do, how do we get a fridge in a day in the middle of no where?

As I sat there looking through flyers and wondering how I can pay for a fridge so unexceptionally the neighbours daughter knocks on the door saying by the way we have a bar fridge that we do not use if you would like it, I loved that woman at that moment.

Good neighbours are an amazing thing, and as tired as we were and as much as we were fed up with that house and wanted to just sell it (or burn it to the ground at that time ...lol) that gesture renewed our faith in our country dream.

2011-08-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

My my, it has been a long time.

If blog neglect were a crime then I would be guilty as charged.

Although I suspect you can’t really call it “neglect” as you have never been far from my mind.

I think about you all the time, little blog.

It’s just that sometimes there are so many other things that pull me here and there that there just isn’t enough time.

Today I have the time, the dog days of August.

Where to start, there is so much to say to update this space, yet not much has changed.

We plug along building our little world slowly. In fact the other day we thought we just might name our home to Slowly.

She has come a long way - with a long way to go. Terri gets frustrated there is always so much to do, me I looked out yesterday morning while having my morning coffee and saw beauty and potential.

I see how far we have come, and I am proud of him and us.

We have an apt of our own again in Toronto, I am happy to have my family with me once more. We have been apart except for weekends for almost two years. I missed them, again I look at them and cannot help but smile, with how proud I am of where I am in my life.

Yes it is a lot of work, but then all good things are.

It is all about moments, if I think of it all at the same time it becomes oppressive. I try to live in the minute I find that so much easier. If I think of all that needs to be done ... I get tired. I am 50 now after all.

Getting settled ...

2010-07-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

Just over a year has gone by since we bought the little house in Madoc.

It is a love\hate relationship we share with living in Toronto and a little home just north of Madoc.

The hardest part for me is that we are apart during the week most of the time. Not that I mind that part all that much, with the technology we have in this day and age I feel close to Terri at all times. And it only makes sense he is painting and renovating the place, and I work all day, it is such a waste of our time to have him sitting in an apt all week.

I think a large part of it is that I am bored when I am here in the apt. I need to find a hobby for this place. I did try painting in the winter and was getting into it, I should finish what I started or start a new one.

Since I was last here so much has changed, we now have quite a little family.

We have Max, or as we like to call him Mr. Man! He is without a doubt the most tenacious personality we have even been around. I do not think he believes he is a dog.

After we moved into the house we figured a cat was a smart idea. We named her Cooper after the hamlet we live in. It was a perfect name because when we got her from the farm down the road she was so young we did not know her sex yet. So Cooper being non gender specific worked.

She is so much fun and goes with Terri when he walks the dogs down the road, if you try and leave her at home she freaks. Meows so loud we can hear her out on the road and go back to get her. That is right she knows just how to play us.

Last but not least is the newest additional to our home, Rupert. He is a big loveable goof and offsets the other two much more serious kidlets in our house perfectly.

We got him from a rescue mission out of Peterborough, but then had to drive to Ottawa to get him. Max spent the entire car ride home with his head buried under blankets. We figured that he thought if he did not look at Rupert it meant he did not exist. But did and the two of them are great friends now.

I miss them all tonight.

Crissy Doll ...

2010-01-29T08:17:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl I had a Crissy doll.

I loved that doll, she has long red hair that come out through the top of her head. You could make it any length you wanted with the turn of a dial on her back. At the time that seemed like a break thru in technology.

I would brush her hair for hours, lost in the thoughts of a 10 year old girl.

I have been working on this painting for a while, on and off. Painting is like that in our house. Sometimes we have the luxury of long periods of paint time, other times, weeks go by without either of being able to find the time to pick up the paint brush. The real world just takes too much of our thoughts and energy, I hate blaming the real world, but sometimes it just sucks that we have to work for a living.

I enjoy getting lost in a painting. I use the smallest brushes we have, and sometimes I find I cannot get them small enough.

When I first saw Terri paint, he uses these huge brushes. I envied him the freedom of his strokes while watching him. I wondered what it would be like to create a painting, with his encourgagement over the years I now paint for my own pleasure.

Funny now that I do paint I find that I love to be lost in the thoughts of a 48 year old woman.

Our Winter Wonderland ...

2010-01-06T13:53:00.001-08:00

Winter is beautiful when you have no where to go.

This year's Christmas Painting ...

2010-01-06T10:41:00.001-08:00

This year's Christmas painting went to my parents.

A few months ago my Dad gave Terri a moose antler that he had found in the dump, an interesting and challenging canvas.

Clancy calls me his bull moose, a term I find oddly endearing.

The scenery was easy ... he just had to look outside our window and there was all the inspiration he needed.

Bathroom Renovation ...

2010-01-06T10:32:00.001-08:00

Kitchen/family room renovation..

2010-01-06T09:56:00.000-08:00

The First Snow ....

2009-12-08T13:45:00.000-08:00

This weekend was our first snow fall in our Madoc home.

My entire life I have spent winters in Toronto. In Toronto winter is cold, damp and there is a lot of slush, not a lot of snow.

In fact we rarely get snow, and if we do it never lasts long.

It is any wonder no one likes winter.

This past weekend my experience with winter was so much different, I have never experienced a quiet like that before.

It was perfect snow, crunchy when you walked on it, delicious when you caught it on your tongue, and it made a perfect snow ball.

This is the winter of dreams and postcards. Cooper Road was like out of a postcard everywhere we looked, there was one breathe taking view after another.

I am jealous of the residents as we drive by, I want to stay there in the country, I want Terri to stop the car so I can photograph it all. But it is Monday and we are driving back to Toronto to begin the week.

I know that I am writing this on the first snow fall of the year, and come February I will be longing for Spring, and the cold dark nights to finally end.

But today ... right here and now ... I have never been happier with our decision to buy this little home and winter is my favourite season.

Cooper ...

2009-11-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

Funny that she only joined our family a few months ago, it feels like she has been a part of us for a long time.

It was only a couple of months ago that we saw the sign "free kittens".

I never thought I would have a cat again after Tigger, who I had for 20 years, but living in the country changes things.

While renovating the bathroom, we saw a mouse in the exposed wall, and with Fall coming there was sure to be more of them coming inside.

A cat was a practical choice, we decided after some discussion.

So, we went and knocked on the door of Organic Ellie's place. I will write about Ellie again, she has become one of "The Players" in our life in Cooper.

Ellie's farm was everything I ever dreamed a farm should be. There was her chicken coop, I want a chicken coop, her roosters walking around like they owned the place. She says to me, take a rooster with you I have two and one is so mean I hate him. I would love a chicken cop and my own rooster even a mean one. But until we live out there full time it is not possible.

At first she handed us a little orange bundle, but both Clancy and I had our eye on the kitten over on the porch, the one with the stripes.

I would like to see that one please.

She was so cute, and small. I was unsure if she would live through the first month. Max thought she was a toy, he loved to carry her around by her head.

But, she is a toughie and holds her own nicely against him.

I remember when we first got her, Ellie told us she is too young to leave her Mom really, but because her Mom is pregnant again she has stopped feeding the kittens.

I asked ... should I feed it with an eye dropper or any special food etc. She laughed at me, and said .. this is a barn cat it will eat anything.

We named her Cooper, an a-sexual name after the Hamlet we live in, and because she was so young her sex was yet to be determined so it seemed fitting at the time.

Since the day we got her she has made us laugh.

I forgot how much of a pain in the ass a kitten can be, but because they are sooo cute you forgive the torn clothes, toilet paper, Kleenex, panty hose .. and everything else that does not walk away.

She is so brave, we go for walks every day and she loves to follow along. In fact if we leave without her she will meow until we come back for her, how dare we leave her behind if we are taking Max.

I like to think that next Spring this will be her territory, by taking her with us on these walks we are showing her the places to guard.

Her and Max have become great friends and keep each other company.

They are both so much fun.

Where to start ...

2009-11-09T09:26:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time, so much has happened. We do not have Internet at either home at the present time, only our blackberries. That makes writing a blog difficult.

I regret not keeping the blog, over the past few months the transition from living in one of the biggest cities in the world into rural Ontario each weekend has been an education.

Because it has been so long since I came here I thought about what I would speak about first, learning the hard way about septic tanks?

Perhaps talking about how I was warned about black flies and mosquitoes but never once did anyone ever tell me about something called a cluster fly. I have been waging a personal war against them for the past month.

I learned that hard water, means my kitchen sink will never look really clean, that I should only invest in cheap coffee makers, and that come the last week of October first week of November, I better look good in orange.

We woke yesterday to a pickup of men with their dogs and hunting rifles walking down our street.

I have never seen a gun before and here I was having a coffee watching men all over the roads carrying them out in the open. It was like a scene from Red Dawn. Very surreal.

In the end after looking at some of the photos I decided to post some of my favourite photos of the surrounding beauty for now.

One of the ladies I work with after looking at some of the photos asked "How can you leave?" It is very difficult, but at least I know it is there to come back to.

Madoc Ontario ...

2009-07-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

Never heard of it, no need to worry every few have.

We now call it home.

To be precise we live in the Hamlet of Cooper. I love that we live in a Hamlet.

For the last two months we have not had access to the internet so it is difficult to document the journey, but I am sneaking in a few minutes today over my lunch to post a few photos of our new home.

I hope to be back soon, there is so much to talk about.

Sometimes I think it is unfair to be this happy and in love.

Meet Max …

2009-03-04T10:55:00.001-08:00

OK he is not a Great Dane, in fact he a 19 lbs daschund. I know … we never saw that coming either!

Well he is actually 3/4 daschund, and 1/3 either jack Russell terrier or miniature pincher we are not sure. The kid we got him off says he is 100% daschund, but he isn't. The vet confirmed that for us too, his legs are too long, his snout too short. But what he is unbelievably cute!

He is soooo cute OMG, and fun. But he is very shy around strangers, which is not a quality that his breed should have, daschund's are strong stubborn dogs that were used to hunt and kill badgers fear and shyness is not something they are known for.

So I have a feeling his first 7 months as a puppy were not with very stable training.

Saturday morning we decided to go to the Toronto Humane Society to get a dog, we had decided to go see about a little mutt until we moved and got the Dane, and to make a long story short we were there a very long time and were growing impatient.

Then in came this young guy about 20 I would guess, he came to surrender his dog. He said that he was giving Max up because he could not afford to keep him.

He looked like so many of the young guys these days a gangster type of dude, his girlfriend was with him, you could tell she did not care much about the puppy. I am sure it was her idea to give it up.

Anyhow, again long story short the Humane society lady came over to us and said .. if you are interested in this dog, this young man is giving it up ... maybe you could all go out to the parking lot and talk to each other ... we did, and came home with Max.

I think the young couple were probably abusive with him, or maybe not abusive, just young and naïve on raising a puppy. I believe that the guy cared very deeply for Max, giving up the dog was emotional and very difficult.

They did not socialize him right, and punished him badly. If he does something wrong and we tell him so, he starts to shake and hides from us. Time and patience will reestablish the trust and help him.

He goes in on Monday to get neutered; that should help with his aggression towards other male dogs we run into.

So, the only thing Clancy asked for about getting a dog was; not be a puppy, it had to be a female, and it had to be fixed.

So we have an unfixed male seven month old puppy.

Funny how life works out sometimes, eh Clancy.

Look how cute he is baby!

All my ducks in a row ...

2009-02-27T11:12:00.000-08:00

That is the third time this week you have said that Clancy laughs.

I am excited these days, so excited I could puke actually, with how well all the ducks are lining up.

The time is close for us to move out of Toronto and to the country. We have been working towards this dream for a few years now. I did not think we would have it for at least two more years.

But it seems the time is much closer, it started innocently enough. Clancy finally gave in and told me I can have a dog.

I have always had dogs, he never has had one of his own, and he feels ready now. So I wanted to make sure this was a good experience for him. We gave it a great deal of thought and have done a lot of research the last couple of months. (Cesar Millan is our new hero).

After all this research we have decided that a Great Dane is the perfect dog for us. I did not want to start him with a puppy so; we talked and decided to register with Danes in Distress. We are now on their list to be adoptees.

A Dane’s traits suit us for many reasons one of the biggest is their laid back attitude and the fact that they were good apartment dogs. Most people would think the opposite because of their size, but it is due to their size that they are good.

They tend to be couch potatos, I told Clancy to think of it like having my teenage daughter move back home. A large lazy teenager.

We spoke to our landlord and although they allow dogs, she was not happy about the idea of such a big dog. So we decided we did not want to upset everyone and we would wait until we got our home in the country.

This was not an easy decision for us, we keep thinking about the dog. And the idea of waiting 10 years to own a dog, seemed unfair somehow.

We have wanted to leave Toronto for a long time, but we did not know how can we possibly do it? I need to get to work, and commuting daily is not an option.

So we figured there were no options, we would just keep plugging away and eventually we will get our dream of a small studio in the country with our Dane.

Indirectly the recession has been good news for us. We have been saving a little, so we thought we would just look around for that studio in the country a couple of weeks ago.

And the good news is we are going this Sunday afternoon out to the Kawartha’s to look at a wonderful place, it is listed at $119,000. Are you kidding me, who had any idea that prices like that even existed, in Toronto you cannot buy a shack for under $300K.

This was a price we can afford (as long as those duckies fall into place) it is presently set up with four buildings, on just over a half acre of land. There is a one bedroom trailer home, a music/recording studio, a yoga studio and a meditation house.

The real estate agent tells us the living quarters are the most “humble” of the buildings. The out buildings have had a lot of work done on them, and the photos look very good. A lot of open space and sunshine.

The humble home is actually very intriguing to us. We are two old hippies and we like a challenge.

It is in a town called Douro Dummer, my parents are also in the Kawarthas area we love it up there.

This home has been on the market for a few months now, and we are hoping if we like it as much as we think we will that it will be on the market a couple more.

Realistically we will not be ready until July 1st.

I will commute back and forth, but not daily, weekly. I get a lot of time off, and have a very flexible job, I will stay with my sister during the week; Clancy will take care of the business, the home, and the dogs.

Oh, did I forget to mention I want two Dogs. Hard to be a pack leader without a pack after all.

One thing leads to another ...

2009-01-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

Most of Clancy's drawings are done with him using a black Paper Mate pen, but sometimes he picks up a pencil.

I loved this drawing, I asked him to make me a painting.

Some of the details changed along the way. He did not like this painting much initially, but in the end this is one of our favourites.

11 01 88

2009-01-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

Aces and eights, the date I gave birth to my daughter.

Today she turned 21. It is funny, before she was born when I celebrated my birthday it was always about me.

Now I also think about my Mom, and all Moms.

Yes, I know that it is her day, but I cannot help thinking about how on this day 21 years ago, about this time in the morning that the pain started.

I knew it was finally here.

I remember that first year, up in the middle of the night, more tired then I knew a person could possibly be, crying, thinking "some miracle baby".

But in the end she was.

I remember is all so clearly, as I reminisce this morning over my coffee.

So yes her birthday is also about me, about us both.

This is the day I gave birth to a beautiful soul that I am very proud of and love very much.

The Hindu god Shiva

2009-01-06T08:09:00.001-08:00

The Hindu god Shiva (Sanskrit: Auspicious One) is one of the main Deities of Hinduism. Shiva is one of the most complex gods of India, embodying seemingly contradictory qualities. Shiva is the destroyer and the restorer, the great ascetic and the symbol of sensuality, the benevolent herdsman of souls and the wrathful avenger.

Shiva is the favourite God of the man that married us, so a painting of Shiva seemed the perfect gift for us to give him.

Painting Shiva was different than Clancy has ever done before, for one, it was very detailed. And the details matter with this subject matter.

For instance Shiva wears a snake coiled around his upper arms and neck symbolizing the power he has over the most deadly of creatures. Snakes are also used to symbolize the Hindu dogma of reincarnation. Their natural process of molting or shedding their skin is symbolic of the human souls transmigration of bodies from one life to another.

Shiva's female consort and wife is Parvati; because of his generosity and reverence towards Parvati, Shiva is considered an ideal role model for a husband. He often holds a trident, which represents the Hindu trinity of Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. It is also said to represent the threefold qualities of nature: creation, preservation and destruction.

Shiva's apparent synthesis of male and female attributes is seen in his earrings. At first Clancy did not want to include the earrings, but it was an important detail.

Shiva's posses a third eye.

The third eye is a symbol of higher consciousness. It is also something with which he can destroy his enemies "with fire." He can also kill all the gods and other creatures during the periodic destruction of the universe.

Shiva's third eye first appeared when Parvati, his wife, playfully covered his other two eyes, therefore plunging the world into darkness and putting it in danger of destruction.

I will miss Shiva in my home, I came to love that painting very much. I guess I will just have to make him create a Shiva for me too.

A Christmas painting ...

2008-12-27T18:08:00.000-08:00

Four years ago, at Christmas time Terri moved into our home. Probably the best Christmas I had ever had, full of ... potential. We were unsure at the time what was coming our way, but we both knew something special was there.

He gave me a painting, no, he did better than that, he presented me with a painting, it was one of the most romantic moments in my life.

Two years ago I contacted Trevor, www.trevoredwinclark.com to purchase a painting Terri loved of his, a portrait Trevor has done of Terri.

It was a great present to give him, I think the best gift I had ever given.

Last year there was no "Christmas painting".

This year as we were putting up the Christmas tree, I told Terri that I thought we should have a "Christmas Painting".

I downloaded some Christmas themed images, and began to create a painting for Bay and Brennen. My first Christmas painting.

I choose an old fashioned Christmas card image.

I had fun instantly with the subject matter, but the perspectives were difficult. It was the first time I had attempted something that I had to actually work within boundaries in order to make it work.

I thought I had drawn it pretty well, but soon I could see how off the car was. How could I possibly do the tires? And the toboggans ... they made my head hurt!

It seems this painting stuff is not as easy as Terri makes it look.

I made him a proposal, it was a tight deadline, I proposed we worked together, and thankfully, he would help with the perspective issues.

He was reluctant initially, but my logic was sound.

To give my daughter a painting from us both was way better than from just one of us. I convinced him it would be fun.

We became a tag team on the painting. The two styles finding a nice middle ground.

He helped me so much to understand why some things were not working like I wanted, the shading under the car, just popped it so much.

I was falling in love with this painting.

The fun was that there was so many details.

They would change during the weeks we worked the painting.

In the end we created a B&B's Candy Shoppee Est. 1988, a BB4 EVR licence plate and a doll store.

I hope in the end they will enjoy this, our first Two Clancys Christmas painting, half as much as we enjoyed creating it for them.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Seems like forever ..

2008-10-26T07:42:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I have come here.

I hate blaming "the real world", but life has been very busy the last couple of months for us.

One of the items that had us busy was a commission that Clancy had been given.

What a wonderful feeling for him, to have someone contact you because they respect your work.

I often think about how difficult it must be for the artist, whatever medium their art is in, to show their product.

Put it, and yourself out there, come judge me.

But the flip side to that feeling must be when someone commissions you.

They have faith in you and your work, they know if they hire you, you will create a vision that represents what they see in their minds.

There was a man retiring, he had worked at this school his entire career, the school is located in the Scarborough Bluffs area. The commission was to have the school in the background, the bluffs to be the prevalent focus.

It was a fun project for him.

This painting he did something he has never done before, he framed it.

We are now thinking about framing a couple of our pieces too.

We want to frame one of these two next.

Ordinary People ...

2008-09-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

It is election time here in Canada.

I wish that just one time I was in a position to feel like I am voting for the best candidate to run this wonderful country of ours, instead of feeling it is more about picking the leader who offends me the least.

Harper it seems is offending me the most, when I read this article in today’s newspaper.

I am unsure where these grants and rich gala receptions are being held but here in my world all the artists I know work a “real” job so they can be artists.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has sparked a culture war in the federal election campaign with a claim that "ordinary people" don't care about arts funding.

The Conservative leader yesterday said average Canadians have no sympathy for "rich" artists who gather at galas to whine about their grants.

"I think when ordinary working people come home, turn on the TV and see a gala of a bunch of people at, you know, a rich gala all subsidized by taxpayers claiming their subsidies aren't high enough, when they know those subsidies have actually gone up –
I'm not sure that's something that resonates with ordinary people,"

Layton said Harper's comments were "bizarre" and showed how out of touch he is with art and artists, most of whom earn very little.

"If what he thinks is that arts and culture is about receptions, maybe he's been going to too many receptions,"

Dion was even more pointed.

Rejecting Harper's suggestion artists are privileged, Dion said their average wage is $23,000 a year.

"Most of them need to rent their suit and beautiful dresses at these galas," he said. "We have a great arts and culture industry. We need to protect its freedom.

Politics … Ughhh

Diana

A Drive To The Country

2008-08-31T16:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to the country, we had not been to see Trevor and Amanda's new home, we were overdue.

Things had changed for them since last we saw them, we were also going to meet the newest addition to their family, their daughter, Simone.

Two young talented artists, starting a new life in a new home. It had been a long time since I had seen clothes that small.

A school house in the country, does it get any better than that? We left the noise and crazy pace of Toronto behind us and looked forward to our visit very much.

It was beautiful, gardens full of flowers.

Beans growing up the vines in the sunshine.

A sense of history prevailed throughout this home, initials of the children carved into the brick, blackboards on the walls, there was a bell at the bottom of the stairs. I thought of the sound it would of made, and what it would have been like as it called the children to class, did they hear it for miles around?

It was perfect for them, this house, it suited them, they are such a wonderful family.

But, as much as I could go on forever on the day, that is not why I am here.

These are why I am here ....

Yesterday during our visit, they each gave us one of their paintings. Our wedding gift.

OK, I will not lie, since our wedding, and I knew I was getting a painting, I have been excited, I mean really frigging excited about owning one of their paintings.

I have a great respect for them both as painters, but more than that I have great respect for them as individuals. Owning one of their paintings to hang proudly in my home, was a privilege I was very excited about.

When we arrived home last night we moved things around and hung the paintings, Amanda's close to the other Trevor painting we hang, a portrait of Clancy.

Trevor's in our dining room, it was stunning. But when I woke in the morning I knew that this painting needed a better wall colour behind it. It was too powerful for such a dull colour.

This leads me to the second part of this long winded blog entry, when I mentioned it to Clancy he says, let's paint the wall. That is right, not let's think about painting it, or do it next week sometime. Right then and there, he brings me out a bunch of colours to choose from, he has all the supplies, neat and tidy too.

I had to smile and just shake my head. I think again about how special he is, and how much I love this man. He starts to paint the wall, just like that. No fussing, or bitching. he too is very excited about these paintings.

I picked a dark grey, Clancy is unsure, because the aptartment is dark to begin with, but with the vibrant colours I want it dark behind.

I love the way it turned out.

I cannot stop looking at the paintings, it is a strange feeling to have them here. I am use to paintings evolving over time. to watching them come alive. These were gifts to us. Without a doubt the best gifts I have ever been given.

I am a lucky woman to live for the life I lead, and to share it with those I do.

Diana

Shiva

2008-08-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel Terri has no idea how powerful his paintings can be, how humbled someone is when receiving one. Or by the fact that he has the ability to do what he does even.

They almost have the opposite effect on him. They seem to at times cause him such self doubt, to shut him down, he worries, will people like his work? Will friends feel obliged to hang this on their walls if he was to give them one? How can he call himself a painter when there are so many talented people out there? Silly thoughts really, but they are real to him.

This past month he has been working so well, his room is alive with the paintings he is working on, all in different stages, it is so exciting for me to come home from work and see the work he has done. To watch these blank canvasses come to life.

He has a commission for mid September, and is also working on a gift for the family friend that married us, Atin. A Hindu priest, Terri thought a painting of Shiva would be perfect for him, and it is.

We were to go visit Atin tonight and give him the painting as a surprise thank you gift, but it is not finished yet, Terri has been struggling this week. He can be so caught up in painting for weeks on end, then he just seems to not want to go near them.

In fact it seems to me he avoids them, almost hates them, they represent things about himself he does not like or want to admit, even if they are self imposed feelings. He struggles with the endings, feels he cannot finish, he gets close and then will not face them.

I do not know how to help him keep the momentum going, I have tried. But in the end like any of us and the jobs we have, we have to find it within ourselves to be inspired.

I encourage him, praise his work, and tell him my honest opinions on how I am blown away and the pure joy and delight I feel when I get to walk into his studio and see the work just a little more ... alive.

But when he is frustrated with his work any words from me do not help help him pick up that paint brush.

Sometimes I wish other artists partners read this blog, OK sometimes I wish anyone but just me read this blog ...lol.

I wonder about their stories, there are so many artists that keep blogs, but what about those that live with and love the artists.

I am curious to know the story behind the artists. I want to know their partners story, how do they support and encourage? How do they help when the person they love so deeply is struggling?

When I told Atin that we were unable to come tonight because Terri has been working on a painting and it is not finished yet, these were his words ...

"This is best surprise news I have ever got - a painting done just for me, it touches me to the core of my heart, I feel happy and humble at the same time."

I know what he means, I have been with Terri for over fours years now and I am still humbled when I see one of his pieces born and then come to life.

Diana

Encouragment

2008-07-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

Today I am envious of him, envious of his talents, envious that he gets to stay at home, envious he gets to make a second pot of coffee before he gets to spend the day in his studio.

Maybe I am envious today because I feel a little sad, I am unsure why, maybe it is the weather, it is a dreary July day here today. Maybe there is no reason except humans are emotional beings and sometimes we just feel a little sad.

I just know that today I feel like I too want to be in a room; painting or drawing, sipping coffee and listening to quiet music as it plays in the background. I want to be lost for hours in a painting, I do not even know how to paint or draw, well not well at least.

Terri says everyone can paint or draw, it is a learned skill, I do not agree with him.

That is not quite right, I think to a point you can teach some of the skills necessary to paint or draw. But there is a natural gift that comes through for some people that no amount of teaching will ever change.

That is, in my opinion what separates the artist from the hobbyist.

Over the last four years I have with his encouragement created many paintings, and drawings. He is always so full of encouragement for my projects. He even wants to hang them on our walls, god love the man.

Instead I give them to my daughter; she has to take them I am her Mom after all. My friends get them for Christmas; they too have to take them, the price they pay for being my friend.

Without his encouragement I would not have over 7,000 photographs on my computer. I think photography is the best gift he has given to me, and in many ways he did give it to me. His encouragement is priceless to me.

We know people, with cameras worth thousands of dollars, but we never see them take photos, we rarely see their work because they rarely take out those cameras. I am never without mine, ever.

I was intimidated by the "photographers" initially, but with Terri’s encouragement I am not anymore. He once told me that I have as much of a claim to call myself a photographer as they do because I am out there every day taking photos.

His encouragement and belief in me has the ability to make me believe in myself too.

Where was this man during my teenage years?

Diana

New plan ...

2008-07-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

We hated camping at Killbear and are home early. There were too many misquitos, and WAY too many children for us.

We are getting too old to camp in that type of setting. We had hoped for a little quiet time, for Terri to do some painting. I wanted to take some photos, everywhere we looked there was people, the camp holds over 1,000 sites. It felt like a tent city, it was horrible.

We did get about two hours one afternoon for Terri to do a little work ...

Our new plan: we will stay right here in Toronto for the remainder of our vacation and go on day trips to find places for Terri to paint and me to take photos.

Diana

Camping ...

2008-07-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

We leave this Sunday for a five day camping trip. We are going to Georgian Bay area. Norther Ontario here we come.

We are planning to bring some canvasses with us, and his sketch book etc.

I will also bring my camera.

We are hoping to have a show for him in the Spring, so a trip like this is perfect to help with a few pieces for his next body of work.

Thank being said, he has one commission to finish, one to start and another one to give as a gift to the friend that married us.

He is one busy artist these days, and that is a good thing.

Diana

A commission ...

2008-07-10T12:17:00.000-07:00

This morning Terri received a phone call from a friend. There is a co-worker of hers that will be retiring soon, they would like to give him as a memento a painting of the Scarborough Bluffs, and have commissioned Terri to do the work.

Again part of why I wanted to keep this blog, was how random it can be living with an artist, our of no where you can get a call and bang you are up.

I am so proud of him

Diana

Paper Mate

2008-06-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

The simple paper mate pen, black ink only. That is what Clancy uses to create his drawings. Sometimes charcoal or pencil, but for the most part his faithful black Paper Mate.

I have often thought about writing to the Paper Mate pen company to tell them about my husband and the hours I have spent with the sound of the scratching of his Paper Mate as he draws. To let them know how loyal he is to his Paper Mates, and see if maybe they will send me a box or two for free.

I remember the first drawing he had done for us. It was before he lived with Bailey and I, he was over visiting and left a note for us to find later.

Leaving a note with a drawing was a simple gesture for him, he always was drawing and doodling, he took it for granted. But for us it was amazing when we found it, we named her Boo.

Boo was up on our fridge for a long time, she became a entity in our home.

We would look at the drawing and think up stories, did she wear that expression because she was frightened?

If she was what was she frightened of, the creature behind her?

Or was there something they were both fleeing in the forest in the background?

What was in that forest?

Eventually we even came up with a name for the forest, in our home it is known as The Odon Forest.

The Odon Forest is only one of the magical places Clancy has created in my world. I have introduced you to Boo and the Forest, but it will have to be another day before we go inside the forest and meet some of the residents. I need to get back to work for now.

Diana

A Ganesh for each guest

2008-06-13T17:36:00.000-07:00

We were married a week ago tomorrow. For the wedding Terri's sister suggested we give each guest a gift, maybe a small painting? We thought it was a great idea.

Initially when she made this suggestion I envisioned one of those 2x2 pre-made canvasses with him doing a small landscape design. He could accomplished that in one sitting, two at most.

In the end the project took about five sittings and was a lot more fun then either of us could of known. We both had a lot of fun working on it. Is it any wonder I married this man, our world is so much fun.

We were going to be married at City Hall, we had it booked, even paid for it. But, in the end we had a Hindu ceremony surrounded by 50 of the people we share our world with.

A good friend of Terri's father married us. We did not know much about the customs and rituals involved in a Hindu ceremony, so we began to do some research and Terri began to sketch Ganesha's. And he thought it would be fun to make the paintings for the guests a Ganesh.

So we went and got 30 boards, and he made three different Ganesh sketches, that he then made into stencils.

I did what I could and helped with the stenciling of each board for him. Some of them I painted the background, some we left white.

They were now ready for him to begin painting them.

This was a fun project, 30 Ganesh's. We had them everywhere, they were either in the studio being worked on, or on the dining room table, drying.

I put a label on the back of each painting to tell the guests who Ganesh was, and why he is such a beloved Deity in the Hindu religion.

They were finished.

And they were beautiful, the guests loved them too.

I was so proud to give everyone I cared about, a little piece of the man I love.

Diana

Charity and generosity ...

2008-04-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

I work 9-5, five days a week day in and day out, for over 20 years now. I love my job.

I am a Corporate Project Coordinator, I get paid to organize events. The biggest projects I do are two charity events each year.

If anyone has ever tired to run a charity event you will know one simple formula that works well. Have prizes that the people want. This is where being married to an artist has come in handy for me from time to time.

Recently I held an auction, and needing as many prizes as possible I approached Clancy and asked if he would donate one of his paintings to my charity.

I smiled my cutest smile, because I had a specific painting I wanted. Wetland.

A difficult painting for me to ask him to donate, this one I liked right away and it had been above my bed for a couple of months and I had began to be quite fond of it.

But, visually it was perfect with its dynamic colours. It would show well on the auction site.

It was a great piece and sold well, a bidding war in fact.

This is not the first time I had exploited Clancy's talents at my job. Another event I run each Spring is called - Innovation Week.

Each day I try to arrange for speakers to come in that help open people minds to different concepts. Yoga, photography, and drawing, yep I had him teach a drawing class at my work.

Then there was the time, we had claimed back space in the basement of our building to turn it into a lunch room. It was dreary down there in the basement, and when brainstorming one day about how we could make it look better I said, I can get Terri to come and do a mural for us.

There he was, working on a wall 120 feet long for no money, with no luxury of space to stand back and look at what he was working on, no time to plan what he would do either he had a week to get it done.

All of these things he has done for charity causes.

My Hero.

Diana

The moody artist - a stereotype?

2008-04-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Clancy will ask me why I love him. He can be so moody, he is afraid these moods will eventually push me away and I will grow bored of him.

I just smile, how could I possibly grow bored of the most original person I have ever met?

“That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward.”

Ernest Hemingway

I remember when we were first dating we watched Ed Norris in Pollock. I wondered as I watched if I could be an artist’s wife. Would Clancy lock himself in a room for days on end, would he become a man I barely recognized in the end? Is this why he wanted me to watch the movie?

Did he want to make sure I was prepared for the life of an artist’s wife?

“It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when I completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy.”

Vincent van Gogh

In the end I think the lesson he wanted to share was more about helping me appreciate art. The work of Jackson Pollock, in my naivety about art represented in my then opinion what was bad about the art world. I saw his work only as someone that was famous for throwing paint on a canvas. There was no skill in what I saw.

It is fine to not appreciate an artist’s work, but I think what Clancy wanted me to learn was that I needed to understand what I was seeing before I made my decision. There was skill, it was a good lesson.

Mostly I just thought about the crazy artist and how much his wife loved and supported him. I was prepared to support the mad artist that locked himself in his room.

Fortunately it worked out much better than that, he rarely locks himself in a room for long periods of time. And when he is in his room, he will always offer me a corner to sit in to share a cup of coffee as he works.

I even paint sometimes, OK, paint is strong, I think of it more as in colouring in. Clancy will draw something for me on a canvas then I fill it in with paint.

“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.”

Henry Ward Beecher

The reality is that as much as I hate stereotyping I have met a lot of creative people and many do have similar qualities; they are sensitive, smart, imaginative and moody, they are passionate about their work and self critical all at the same time.

He is unconventional, and curious about everything. He can be temperamental and experience a range of emotions, he is emotionally reactive. And I cherish him all the more for it.

He, like many creative people prefers to spend his time alone. He is remarkably gentle, kind, and generous, sometimes I think the world is too overwhelming for him. Too loud.

He constantly compares himself to other artists, I often wonder if all artists do this? I cannot imagine the stress of working in a field full of so many talented individuals and constantly comparing myself to their work. Do all artists do this or just painters?

I remember the first time I went through the process of him applying for a show, waiting for weeks to be judged by a jury of strangers that will see thousands of other artists work.

“Every time an artist dies, part of the vision of mankind passes with him.”

Benjamin Franklin

Finally, the notice arrvies and if they do not accept him I know it has the power to destroy him for weeks on end and fill him full of so much self doubt I worry he will not pick up the paint brush again.

But he does, he has too, there is no choice after all because even if some days he cannot say it as loud as other days ... he is an artist.

Diana

Keisha

2008-04-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Clancy sold a painting this week. Which was very cool, he has been second guessing himself and his talent the last couple of months. It is a great painting, sometimes what amazes me about paintings is how before it is even finished it has a history. Paintings all have stories.

This painting started as a photograph I had taken of a co-worker as we waited for a plane in a small airport on a very cold January night, he had wanted to paint it the moment he saw the photograph. This week I took a photograph of the not quite finished painting to work to show Keisha.

She fell in love with it, and got very excited to buy it, it is a very sweet painting. I was glad she loved it so much, when I told Clancy about what happened he felt she just wanted to buy it because she works for me. His self doubts are always so close, I guess it is the nature of the beast, artists no matter what their medium put themselves out to be judged with each and every piece they share with the world. It is difficult and something I am not sure I could do constantly without my confidence being effected to some degree.

I wish he had seen her face when she saw the photograph, seen her honest reaction to what she was seeing. I had been travelling with her for two weeks and I had taken her photograph so many times she would just giggle when I took them even as she tried to sleep.

That particular photograph always makes her smile, she looked like shit and was worried what the painting might look like. So when she saw it and saw that it was an awesome painting of her, that had also captured a moment in time of her life beautifully, she was deeply moved.

It was very cool to share with her. Well done baby, congrats on the sale.

Man Rinaldo

2008-04-06T15:25:00.001-07:00

He was rolled up in the basement at his sisters place, safe but hidden, almost forgotten I think. He was one of the first pieces Clancy had created. He was unfinished, and so handsome, his gaze I found intense.

He was another painting, ironically enough that his brother-in-law also was interested in. Clancy always laughs that both Serge and I are Gemini's and how alike we are. It seemed we also have the same taste in art work.

Man Rinaldo would become a Christmas present I would get that year.

Me became the second piece of art work I owned.

Porno Girl

2008-04-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

When I first saw her, she was rolled up.

She had been put away, stored at his sisters home. He probably needed the stretcher for another painting at the time. I am unsure how long she had been put away when I first saw her. I wanted her the moment I saw her, I told him.

He told me his brother-in-law wanted this one. It seemed to me if he wanted it as badly as I did it would not still be rolled up. We were dating at the time, we barely even knew each other really.

Clancy had come over for dinner, and while I was cooking he brought her out. I heard the click of a staple gun, by the time I turned around he had hung her on the wall and said he wanted me to have her. Until that day I had not owned a peace of art. My walls were covered with prints I had paid a lot of money for, I considered them to be art work, but owning my first oil painting - this was art I was proud to call mine. Her name is Porno Girl.

He found her in a porno magazine. She is not the best example to reflect his style of work as well as other pieces I will post along the way, but to me she was so sexy and powerful that I later used this image for business cards I would design for him.

Hello World

2008-04-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

I am fortunate to share my world with Clancy. He found me not long after I had started life on my own at 40. Since then he has filled my world with art, laughter, creativity and music. This is a place for me to share Clancy with anyone that might just wander by.